The following are recommendations and practical exercises to accept, make sense of, and change the given meanings:
Listen to the other person openly – without thinking that the other person is criticizing or accusing you, flattering or deceiving you, or being manipulative or filtered. Don’t fall into meanings, that you are liked or disliked. Just be a listener with the attitude that you can benefit from what is being said, that the information being expressed is useful.
Even words and expressions that are unpleasant to you can be helpful.
So stalk like a predator stalks its prey to catch exactly what is useful to yourself. You may even imagine that opposite to you is the wisest man on Earth, who behind accusatory and harsh words about you has hidden a very important message to save humanity. That is why all the attention and concentration are needed – to understand what he is saying, to ask the right questions, etc.
To make this process easier, when you find offensive words, have fun interpreting them – asshole becomes us-whole (we together), moron becomes more-h(on)or (you are more honored), fat becomes F.A.T (fast at thinking – smart), etc. The options are versatile and the choice – endless.
Exercise 1 – Honesty with friends
Get together with friends you trust. Agree in advance that the group is coming together to achieve a specific task – to achieve honesty, integrity, and, of course, responsibility. Each participant lists what negative traits they see in the others. With candor, honesty, and responsibility to yourself! A draw of lots can be used to choose who will be “examined” first. The others speak. Next comes the second, and so on. You write down what is shared and analyze it. Around you are your best friends who are telling you the truth and are willing to help. A mistake is only a failure if it is not corrected if it is not adjusted. A regulated mistake is a step toward success.
Exercise 2 – Self-analyntesis
The exercise can be applied daily and the deeper you go into the questions and answers, the more real and powerful your change and development become!
Do you have the trust in yourself to do a self-analyntesis? Are you honest with yourself? Are you achieving honesty – that what you discover in yourself, you hear from others? Are you taking responsibility for yourself to fix things? How do you do it – In words only, or do you monitor yourself every moment to answer honestly?
Do you hear the uncomfortable truths about yourself when others “expose you for everyone to see”? Do you accept these truths or do you make excuses that it is not so? Do you fear your mistakes? Are you afraid of being wrong? Isn’t it wiser to rejoice in being wrong because that way you will know what to change about yourself? Do you accept the mistake as a failure or as a friend that helps you to be happier? Do you share these mistakes with others or hide and keep them quiet? Is this honesty?
Exercise 3 – The insult as a source of information
This exercise can be read, reread, and applied every time you experience even a small insult. The more you search and discover, the more information about the causes and the change will be revealed to you!
Do you get offended? What is an insult to you? Are you assuming that what was said may be true or are you defending yourself “tooth and nail”? Have you done an analyntesis of your own behavior to discover where and how you become a paradox to yourself? Why don’t you accept the insult as truth and with practical actions prove to everyone that you can change things? Have you discovered what offends you the most – tone, irony, harsh language or indifference? Or do you possess exactly those qualities that offend you? Can you change them? Do you find that when you “tell the truth” about others, you feel satisfaction, and when they do the same to you, you start defending yourself? Why you have different criteria for yourself and for others? Isn’t it fair – what’s for you – also for them?
